This is a story about a feeling at the pit of my stomach...

How often do we think "I want to help, but I've got so many of my own worries"? How often are we held back by the bystander effect... assuming that somebody else is going to step in first, so that we don't have to?

You'd hope that nobody would have to be in hospital alone, uncared for, while they're in pain and discomfort. You would think that even somebody who has been infected with Ebola, has loved ones who have come to wave through the protective plastic bubble.

Leaving aside my own obnoxious family, doesn't it set alarm bells ringing for you, the fact that we have a society that can so easily turn its back on undesirable members?

Whether it's the benefits cheat, disability scrounger, mental health basket case, junkie, alkie, hobo... whatever. There are plenty of people who have been demonised by the media. We have even descended to the depths of attacking our economy-boosting immigrant population, with terrorism as the brush with which we tar an entire Muslim community, for example.

This whole "look after number one" isolationism, along with "take our country back" and "look after our own" misguided silliness, is rather telling of a wider trend: everybody is just being selfish as fuck.

You might think it's in your family's best interests to hide behind your locked front door, and assume that the world is filled with rapists, paedophiles and murderers, but actually the whole of civilisation is coming to an end, because of the fear and mistrust, and reluctance to help one another.

That's a big statement, isn't it? "Civilisation is coming to an end".

Well, let's examine that a little more carefully. What even is civilisation? Surely, civilisation is not leaving anybody to die of starvation or exposure to the elements? Surely, civilisation is caring and sharing with one another? Surely, civilisation is working together, not acting like a bunch of individual animals, fighting with each other?

So, when I think about going back to work tomorrow after an excellent weekend of looking after number one, I can't help but have a heavy heart, thinking that my job is simply to make the rich richer. I might have a big paycheque but I certainly don't think that means I'm delivering good value to humanity. On the contrary: I know that I'm propping up a very broken system, and I hate it.

Yes, it makes sense for me to take the money, and to stuff my mattress full of filthy ill-gotten lucre, but it's painful. It actually makes me unwell, to know that I'm part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Once you get some skin in the game I guess it becomes a little bit easier to justify the unjustifiable. Little Hugo needs his ballet shoes, after all, so you'd better go off to work for the capitalists who are intent on destroying the world. How could you possibly help the homeless, when you need that money to get bright special little Alice into that slightly better primary school? Perfectly understandable.

Maybe our children will catch poverty. Maybe children will catch mental illness. Let's not take any refugees, and let's allow people to starve and go homeless, because surely we're living in a jungle where only the fittest will survive. Isn't that what life's about? Have as many children as possible and fuck everybody else?

Doesn't it seem a little primitive to you, this way of acting that is tribal, nationalistic, isolated, don't trust your neighbour, fuck the refugees, fuck the poor, fuck the sick, fuck everybody who isn't me?

I know that I could easily do a "fun run" or a sponsored "do something enjoyable that I was going to do anyway" in order to salve my conscience. Maybe I can get a partial lobotomy, so that I can forget that charity has completely failed to do anything about poverty and inequality, and it never will.

It's people's attitudes that suck. It's this whole "it must be somebody else's problem. It's certainly not my problem" thought pattern that sucks.

The point is: it's everybody's problem.

Tags: #politics #capitalism #career #depression

This is a story about terrorism...

Do we take stability for granted? In actual fact, I think we do a remarkable job of Keeping Calm and Carrying On, in the face of the threat of violence.

I often think about Britain's role in my lifetime, as a diplomatic and tolerant nation. We made great strides in the Northern Irish peace process, and IRA bombings and bomb scares had almost faded from memory. We managed to protect Salman Rushdie, when he published the The Satanic Verses, while at the same time maintaining a good relationship with the Islamic world. Acts of terrorism, like the Pan Am bombing, were committed on British soil, but yet our nation never stumbled as a respected statesman in foreign affairs.

However, perhaps our politicians took our position for granted.

Entering into an illegal war against Iraq was just downright arrogant and stupid, on the basis of supposed intelligence that was never questioned within the corridors of power, despite the fact that the public were obviously not convinced by the outlandish claims.

Surely nobody can deny the fact that Britain's recent foreign policy has made our nation a target, rather than a safer place for our citizens. The war in Iraq was cited by the 7/7 bombers, as the reason for their attack. Our MPs voted to bomb Syria, further compounding a refugee crisis, and angering the Arab world. Then we held a referendum on leaving the EU, which threatens to derail the Northern Irish peace process as well as unleashing a tidal wave of racist hatred & intolerance.

London needs to remember that Britain is a European nation, and Europe has land borders with the Middle East. We are not the USA, with a massive body of water - The Atlantic Ocean - that separates us from those who want to kill us.

It's OK for the USA to meddle in the affairs of Ireland, Europe and the Middle East, because they are the best part of 4,000 miles away. So long as the Arab parts of the Middle East don't get intercontinental ballistic missiles with nuclear warheads, they're more than happy for Britain to idiotically make itself unsafe in the process of protecting American interests.

Our Irish neighbours who believe in the re-unification of their island under a single republic, can quite easily take a short ride on a car ferry and come and blow us up. Have we forgotten that? I can't really tell you how my fellow Brits in Belfast feel, but I certainly don't want to offend my friends in The Republic of Ireland, by making them feel like Britain is yet again becoming a viciously violent imperialist, at the expense of European peace.

Britain has long had a tradition of multiculturalism, and offending our Muslim population seems unwise. We can't deport people based on their religion. Many Muslims are second or third generation. They're as British as you or I.

The USA can send Israel guns, bombs, tanks and warplanes, in order to illegally occupy Palestine and oppress the Arab people. The USA can do this, because they are thousands of miles away, across vast oceans, from the vast swathe of the planet that they are committing atrocities against. Muslims are just 0.9% of the population of the USA. However, in England, 5% of the population follow the Muslim faith.

Britain is in no position to act like the USA, in terms of foreign policy. Britain is in no position to make itself an enemy with its neighbours and its own citizens.

Horrible racists like Donald Trump might talk about "the ban" on people of the Muslim faith, and this might even be sadly workable, because of the popularity of the policies in a predominantly isolated nation. However, Britain is an island trading nation, a multicultural society, and close to the great landmass of Europe, which borders Asia and the Middle East. We don't have a Panama Canal to the south, and an Arctic wilderness to the North. People quite regularly swim across the English Channel.

To use the language of the USA is ridiculous. We can't talk of imposing our own brand of freedom on people, and riding around the world in war machines, blowing up whoever we like, and then acting all surprised and upset when a few people fight back.

The UK has increased and increased its reckless stupidity with foreign policy that threatens the safety of every peaceful law-abiding citizen. I don't want to live in a country where I have to be mistrustful of the Muslim community, the Irish community. I don't want to go back to the days of bomb scares and terrorist attacks.

Britain and London's great success has been in welcoming visitors to our shores. I feel safer in a multicultural London, than I would in a sea of angry white faces, all chanting jingoistic racist nationalistic tosh, at the expense of national security.

You can't use violence and aggression to bring peace. All that warmongering foreign policy, and racist domestic policy, will accomplish, is to alienate the many cultures who had previously felt at home in Britain, and turn ourselves into a proxy target for those who seek to hurt the imperialists that oppress them.

Having Tony Blair as Middle East peace envoy was a dreadful insult to the Arab world. What on earth is Britain doing, other than painting a big target on its back?

Tags: #terrorism #politics #london

This is a story about two against one...

I'm fed up of being ignored and getting no respect from my Dad. This is a twofold problem. Now they don't take drugs anymore, they have  lost the only social bond to many freinds, and they don't know how to make new ones. They also live in a co-dependent abusive bubble, where my Mum has to agree with my Dad 0r else there will be arguing that my Dad always wins, because he puts ego ahead of relationships.

Growing up, I learned that making a reasoned argument, supported by evidence would get me nowhere. My most logical and intelligent statements would be put down with "smart arse" or "know-it-all", which is like an adult blowing a raspberry at a child because they can't think of a reply or they know they're wrong.

I'm writing two books, One on Bipolar Disorder and one on Legal Highs. I only have one literary agent at the moment, so if you know somebody who publishes non-fiction, please get in contact.

If you would like to read the first 12,000 words of my first book, please click this link and request access (I can't make it public, or else I can't sell it): https://drive.google.com/a/grant.gb.com/file/d/0B1Yzdy-TF4Z2WkczX28zVjRJNk0/view?usp=sharing

An advance would be really handy right now, because the thought of going back into a corporate environment again after 20 years of playing the game takes the saying 'deferred gratification' to an extreme level.

I would also like to borrow a vehicle of some sort, or be allowed to pitch my tent on your land. I'd like the option to change my environment. Marine Girl had offered her camper van but I guess she's away on half-term.

I'm going to keep my London base, because it's a gorgeous flat and my flatmate is such a great friend who really understands what I'm going through.

I have plans to keep a modest regular income, and I want a physical project too. I'm currently looking for derelict commercial property in London, that would be converted to house unaccompanied minors as part of Techfugees. If there's one thing I do well, it's the project that everybody else is too busy waiting for permission to do.

If anybody wants to 'buy' something from my company, I'm selling money-back guarantees. It also gives me an income of 4.5%. Also, if anybody wants to buy any 'nearly new' Macbooks etc off me, I'm offering a discount of up to 12.25%, but it'd be helpful if I could keep the whole 24.5%. Same goes for anything else that's VATable. Maybe you should buy that van (please lend it to me for a bit).

Also, I would like to sell some of my services, so I don't give the VAT man NO tax next quarter. Is there anything you have to do regularly on your computer, but the macro is just too hard? Do you want an ecommerce website or a forum or some graphic design work? Is there a data export/import task that takes you ages? See if you can get the purchase approval for the most IT experienced temp you've ever met in your life.

I do lecturing and pulic speaking too: London Business School, Bournemouth Business School and this little place called Cambridge.

If all else fails, I'm good at looking around a business, learning from your best people, and then shouting at everybody until things start going a bit better, if you're spending a lot but it all seems to be disappearing into a black hole. It's time for me to leave, which is normally when people return to their old habits or the management team think their failing project/company is just going to fix itself if everybody keeps the faith.

A leader should inspire confidence, the faith to follow them, but if that's up a dead-end then you're stuffed. Always remember this: leaders are promoted up to the level that they're no longer competent at their job.

So my parents will have a fantasy story about who I've 'become' and what I do with my time, and where my money goes. Why don't you get back in contact with me. I'll be pleased t0 hear fr0m you and I always appreciate advice and feedback. nick@manicgrant.com or @ManicGrant if you do that new-fangled Twitter thing.

If you hear something about me from my Mum or Dad, just say "with respect, you never email him, visit him and he ignores your calls after you only ever used them to guilt-trip him about his sister and niece, or say ignorant judgemental things". I need the family's help, not two ingnoramuses spreading inaccurate gossip about me.

I want my Mum & Dad in my life, but they need to grow up and learn that respect is a two-way-street. I'm still their son though, so if I'm in trouble and you've promised to help, then help, and help 100% not 50%, and certainly don't hinder by phoning all my relatives and telling them not to lend me any money because I became a drug addict devil overnight who complies with every stereotype.

Blame is a fruitless excercise. Just make good on your promises and help where you can, otherwise you inflict consequences which are not the same as blame.

I'm so exhasted, but I'm going to go look for buildings for unaccompnied minors. Guess where they mostly came from?

I always thought that drugs funded terrorism, but I feel so much safer already knowing that terrorism won't be getting any of its funds from pistachios and saffron.

Tags: #parents #childhood #politics #refugees

This is a story about the spread of lies and misinformation...

Wealth does not trickle down, but information does. If you pass off lies as if they were facts, they will spread and people will start to believe complete rubbish. Journalists need to check their facts. So should we, if we are going to broadcast things all over social media and to our friends and family.

I was disappointed by the number of my friends sharing a story about an ambulance "packed with explosives" at the Germany vs. Netherlands football game that was called off last night. I think it is little co-incidence that these were the same friends sharing stories about what a successful air strike the French had made against "ISIS" the day after the Paris attacks. From what I could see, it was an air strike against the sovereign nation of Syria. Strikes against a nation without declaring war on them is illegal, or so I thought? Perhaps it's me who is confused.

So, what the heck is going on in the world? My friends and family have been turned against me, with rumours being spread about my mental health, alcohol and drug issues. If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or see some evidence, why would you believe those who would seek to damage? What is the ulterior motive, when we are being told that a group of people or an individual is "evil" and needs to be excluded, wiped out... they are dehumanised.

What does this kind of infighting really achieve? Aren't we all the same, under our clothes? Don't we all bleed red? Don't we all feel pain when you hurt us? Don't we all have fear when you threaten us? Don't we all cry when you isolate and exclude us?

What's the point in spreading lies, misinformed rubbish that's based on complete ignorance? What are you hoping that it will do? It certainly won't make anybody think you're a better person. It certainly won't advance humanity, civilisation. It won't protect you and your children and your grandchildren.

Yes, I think that fundamentally, people are playing on the fears that you naturally have as a parent. You want to defend the genetic material that you have managed to replicate into another bag of DNA... your children and grandchildren. You will happily kill if it means that more copies of your DNA get to be reproduced. It's the selfish gene in action.

However, you have higher brain functions. Society and the advancement of the human race now means that we have written language and a body of historical literature that we can learn from. We can look at what has happened with countless empires and see that the same mistakes get repeated over & over again. Human nature includes animal nature, and that most basic nature is to fight and fuck and try and pass on your genes.

Do you think you could rise above the level of a mosquito, just for a minute?

Stop sucking blood and fighting and fucking. That's what animals do.

Yes, you're an animal, but you also have the gift of consciousness, which means that you're self aware, and you can self-direct your actions based on the evaluation of more than whether you are horny or hungry. Yes, you might still be horny and hungry, but you can also be considerate and kind and thoughtful. You can surely see the physical manifestation of immorality in the world? Does "thou shalt not kill" apply to you?

So, I'm not religious, but at least religion preaches a code of morality. I have morals even though I don't worship any god(s). I believe in certain things that have been attributed to a 2,000 year old man who was supposedly called Jesus Christ... but I'm not a Christian.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Does that ring any bells? Guns and bombs are like stones, that we are raining down on the heads of many of our fellow human beings fairly indiscriminately. That's immoral.

You cannot let things that are going on in the world sit comfortably on your conscience, unless you're some sort of psychopath. Look at the huge number of refugees fleeing illegal wars. You help to support the kind of horrific barbaric behaviour that is causing this human suffering. If you're thinking "what can I do?" or "it's nothing to do with me" you are an ignoramus. You are a horrible person.

Your kids and grandkids have got to grow up on this polluted war-torn rock. If you're teaching them that it's OK to sit idly by while people are killed, or worse, you are promoting killing and illegal war, you are immoral and you are destroying the world. You don't deserve to be teaching your children and grandkids vile views that will perpetuate the cycle of hatred and violence.

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

That is all.

Frankie: "Why, daddy? Why do the horrible people do it? I just want to eat cat food and play with a ball of string and sleep in the sunshine" (June 2007)

Tags: #parents #politics #civildisobedience #frankie #terrorism

This is a story about suffering for your beliefs...

I'm prepared to go to jail or be detained in hospital rather than perpetuate the cycle of war.

In hospital, the consultant psychiatrist talked about being like Ghandi standing up to the British establishment. Just let it all wash over you. Don't rise to it. Don't strike back in anger. These are wise words.

Growing up, some of my friends were Quakers. I have a strong belief in conscientious objection and nonviolent protest, passivist behaviours. It might sound hippy to you, but look where war has gotten us.

If we all sit down, in protest. Just sit down and say enough! then you will see what power people have. You don't need guns. You don't need bombs.

So, I suspect that my nonviolent actions have not escaped notice. I put stickers all over the DLR and tube, declaring that I'm #notanonymous and that I refuse to have war crimes committed in my name. I refuse to let terrorism and illegal wars be perpetrated because we are not taking collective responsibility.

Yes, I will probably end up locked up for having these beliefs. You could say I'd be a political prisoner if and when that happens. That's probably accurate. I don't mind. I'd rather be locked up than be part of a society that is happily perpetuating war and suffering.

Happily? Yes, you were perfectly happy to "Keep Calm and Carry On" before, when people were being killed in your name. You didn't lift a single finger to stop meglomaniac politicians from perpetrating war crimes in your name.

So, if I end up locked up for protesting in a mature, well thought through way that only aims to raise awareness and get people to stop, think, and ask their elected representatives to stop committing murder in their name... so be it.

Please come and visit.

That is all.

Tags: #terrorism #notanonymous #politics #civildisobedience

This is a story about good vs. evil...

Ten days ago I made a video declaring my solidarity with my Parisian brothers & sisters. I never could have imagined what would happen next. We are all shocked and saddened by the barbarity of humanity, when pushed to extremes. It's hard to understand how or why people would act like that.

A week ago I conducted a kind of experiment, where I attempted to empathise (NOTE: not sympathise) with the mindset of a person who would be driven to extreme behaviour. I was disappointed with the response. People just didn't seem to share my concerns. An Evening Standard journalist rang me up for comment, and he actually thought it was funny.

I was moved to see thousands Parisians out on the street, ignoring the curfew, and united under a banner that read "Not Afraid". This kind of solidarity and non-violent protest against the rise and rise of terror shows that humans can collectively beat barbaric behaviour. I include war in this statement, as I don't believe that you can shoot and bomb people into submission, either as an act of terrorism OR an act of war. It just doesn't work.

As I have been urging in a series of blog posts, I beg people to act in nonviolent protest, and to demand that our politicians don't carry out acts of war in our name. War is the fuel for the fire of hatred, terrorism, extremism, pain, destruction.

I know that the French people are reeling from the attack, and it must be unimaginably hard to cope with something so horrible happening to your family, friends and fellow French people. I'm so sorry, as a human, that some of my fellow humans are so barbaric.

I don't think that warfare is the right response.

That is all.

Tags: #terrorism #france #europe

This is a story about intrusive thoughts...

I've never been able to find the 'off' button for my brain or my mouth. That's a problem.

I also have a rather photographic memory, and can construct well reasoned arguments based on evidence. Most people just tend to go with their gut feeling, and are happy to be wrong about things, because what they want to be true feels more natural to them. Being wrong is also great if you want to carry on living your decadent hedonistic life in ignorant bliss of the suffering that it causes to other people.

Sadly, if you have a rational, logical brain, good memory and you have collected a lot of varied experiences from around the world, so that you can compare and contrast everything that you see and integrate it into a 'big picture' then you have a limited tolerance for small minded people.

Yes, this is extremely condescending. Sorry about that.

So, fundamentally, I lost my job went homeless and wailed at the moon because of an existential crisis. The first thing I did when I got back to London was to sign up for a Philosophy course. I feel that I have died a thousand deaths, and I fear not one more. My priorities in life are a little different from yours.

The bottom line is this: all this talk of ending war & poverty is hot air. Many years have passed since the so-called 'enlightenment' and we are still allowing evil deeds to be committed in our name. You cannot fight for peace, just like you cannot fuck for virginity.

The war on terror is terrorism. Look at the faces of refugees fleeing the illegal wars in the Middle East. They are terrified.

That is all.

Tags: #homeless #terrorism #notanonymous #politics #career #london #bipolar #politics

This is a story about some bags I lost...

I think I might have accidentally left some bags unattended on the underground. When I was riding the tube around London, distributing free colourful cardboard stars, during rush hour on Bonfire Night, November 5th 2015, I think I may have been a little distracted by the fact that I had lost my job. I also haven't been taking my medication. Oops.

I've made this little map, to show where I went with my bags, while distributing free colourful cardboard stars. I have put a star on the map to indicate where I think I might have lost each of the bags. The tube stations were pretty busy at rush hour, so I'm sure lots of people went right by my unattended bags, but whether they picked them up and took them to lost property I don't know yet.

I'm so pleased that there wasn't any disruption caused by me leaving my bags unattended. I know that unattended bags are something that we need to be vigilant of, as Londoners, during a time when we are dropping bombs on Syrians and causing a major refugee crisis. I know that bags on mass transit are something we should be worried about when planes are being blown up in Egypt.

Luckily, in this instance, the bags were totally safe. Nothing to worry about.

Stay safe, London.

Tags: #notanonymous #terrorism

This is a story about the lives of others...

The more a person spies on another person, the more they see themself reflected back. The more they sympathise and see the ordinary humanity in the person that they are spying on. The more empathy they feel, the more they start to doubt the ethics of spying.

We can use software to do a lot of the 'heavy lifting' of spying, but we still need intelligence officers to actually then do in-depth analysis after red flags are raised by the systems that monitor our electronic communication.

These analysts may then be sanctioned to perform further, more in-depth snooping, if there looks to be a strong case to justify the further intrusion into the life of that citizen. They have to argue the case to their superiors. They also have to argue the case because it's their job to make cases. If they didn't think anybody was worth spying on, there wouldn't be any jobs in the intelligence field.

When a case is accepted, then even more information is gathered, sometimes at great expense. Then, somebody has to pick up the bill. It's time to start building a case now against that person, to make them pick up the bill.

The usual ways that the intelligence agencies will make their citizens pay would be prosecution for terrorism, fraud, drug trafficking, prostitution, human trafficking, weapons. Unfortunately, this can also extend to anti-establishment activity, which would not be criminal. The only payback would be a smear campaign, which is a lot easier if you have lots of juicy details about that person's private life that you have snooped without their knowledge.

There's never any backing down. Nobody will ever say "On reflection, I was wrong and we should not have pryed into the private life of this citizen" because nobody wants to look stupid. Everybody wants to justify the case that was made and actions that were taken.

All I'm going to say is this: I'm only human, and I've never engaged in organised crime or terrorism.

That is all.

Tags: #privacy #politics #civildisobedience #notanonymous

This is a story of identity, respectfully, on the anniversary of the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center, New York, USA...

When people ask where I'm from, I'm not sure how to answer the question. My surname is Grant, which is Scottish, but I was born in Aberystwyth, which makes me Welsh. But my Dad was from Yorkshire, so maybe I'm a Yorshireman. However, my Mum was from Lancashire, so maybe I'm Northern. But then again, I grew up in Oxford and Dorset, which are in the Midlands and South. I have lived & worked in London, England most of my career, and this multicultural smelting pot is where I feel most at home.

The short answer is, in my opinion, that we are all global children in the age of jet travel, international journalism and the Internet. I identify most strongly with the American people, who made me feel comfortable with my modern idenity, and the Irish people, who made me feel welcome despite my shortcomings.

As a European, I grew up during a period of IRA bomb scares and bombings. I remember not wanting to drink my milk at primary school because of fallout from Chernobyl. My school was once evacuated due to a bomb threat. My neighbour was working late next door to the Baltic Exchange when it was blown up. During the height of "The Troubles" our family felt scared to visit Northern Ireland, when we were on holiday in the Republic of Ireland. Several friends were nearby when the Brixton and Soho nail bombs went off. I remember being scared of planes carrying nuclear atomic bombs from the USAF bases in Oxfordshire. I remember the Lockerbie bombing and I remember being scared of planes being blown up or crashing while I was in one.

When I started my first Banking job in Canary Wharf in 2000 (age 20) there was no HSBC or Citigroup tower (let alone Barclays, JPMorgan, KPMG, Fitch etc. etc.) - they were just digging the foundations around Canada Square - the glass windows in the offices, that were blown out by an IRA bomb, had only relatively recently been replaced. My first job in The City (Square Mile) of London was in an office, which overlooked the bombed derelict ruin of The Baltic Exchange.

In May 2001 (age 21) I started my first Investment Banking job, quite near the Natwest Tower (now called Tower 42). On May Day the previous 2 years, The City had been engulfed by protestors against the rise and rise of Global Capitalism. During the riots, my office reception had been amongst several that had been compromised by protestors, leaving pinstripe-wearing, briefcase carrying, FT-reading fat cats (if that's how you care to think of these friends and colleagues of mine) barricaded in their offices.

On the 9th September, 2001, I moved to Surrey and was commuting into London for the first time. On the 11th, I remember the unfolding of events precisely and vividly. People crowded around my computer screen, which had been one of the few that had managed to refresh the BBC News Homepage during the surge of Internet traffic following the first tower of the World Trade Center being struck.

We made our way up to the trading floor, where they had TV, and we gasped as the second plane struck, and truth was immediately obvious - that this was a deliberate attack on the World Trade Center - fear spread throughout our office and The City. We believed planes were headed for Tower 42 and 1 Canada Square. We made our way home quietly, afraid, whereupon I had to buy a TV. I remember standing in the shop, just watching the footage over and over, transfixed with horror. We were frightened and saddened for the American people, and for ourselves too. Human suffering defies borders, defies race prejudice, defies class divides.

In early summer 2005, I started working for a U.S. Investment Bank and relocated to the South Coast of the UK. On the 7th of July, London was hit by 4 bombs on public transport. Before I relocated, I could walk to work from Angel to The City, but when my office had been relocated to Canary Wharf in 2003, I used to take the tube every day. On that particular day, one of the bombs detonated when the tube was right underneath where I used to work, in between Liverpool Street and Aldgate East.

I can barely imagine the horror of living, working or having friends and relatives on Manhattan Island on 9/11,  but in the UK the emotional connection spread as fast as the images were transmitted around the globe. On 7/7 there was chaos and confusion. I remember the phone network not being able to cope with the volume of calls and SMS messages, as we all reached out to one another to check we were OK. Nobody knew what was going on.

The images of the towers falling, and the dust cloud engulfing a city, will always be etched in our memories. Despite not being an American or having any direct connection with New York, I hope it does not seem churlish to say that I am symapthetic with the plight of those who were more directly involved in the events of either 9/11 or 7/7, and also have basic human fear and life-preservation instincts, that make me a little more fearful than I would care to admit to a terrorist, on the prospect of working in my 42-floor office with 12,000 souls, even 14 years later.

Somebody took a giant dump outside my office recently, as a non-violent protest about banking ruining the global econonmy, presumably. If somebody is angry enough to drop their trousers and curl one out, right in front of the security guards and CCTV, then I think there is still a large body of people who are pretty unhappy with those 'fat cats', still.

This is not at all about me. This is meant to be a message of sympathy, empathy, respect and common understanding, that we have all shared experiences of terrorism, and they are real and affect us all, in some way.

Condolences to all the families who lost loved ones on this day.

Tags: #london #career #banking #terrorism #capitalism #civildisobedience